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Perfectly Imperfect: Is it Possible to be Loved Despite Your Flaws?

  • by Althia McLaughlin, LPC
  • September 28, 2015
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shutterstock_110823782I recently came across an interesting quote from Writer/Director Spike Lee. He said, “I think people who have faults are a lot more interesting than people who are perfect.”

So many people are shooting for perfection. They hate the parts of them that are imperfect. They often allow what is “wrong” with them to outweigh all that is great about them, which in turn often means that they do not like themselves at all.

One of the beautiful things about my work as a psychotherapist is that clients allow me to see the ugliest, darkest, most imperfect parts of who they are. And I have the opportunity to show them that, despite their imperfections, I still see their value and their beauty as human beings. I am in a position which allows me to give them a unique perspective on who they are.

While it is important for us to constantly try to grow and improve who we are as individuals, it is also important to remind ourselves that no matter what we do or how much energy we put into being a better person, we will never be perfect. I encourage a healthy balance of insight, effort, and acceptance in regard to how we look at ourselves.

Here are a few celebrities that have allowed us to see their flaws. These are celebrities we consider interesting and whom we embrace—despite their imperfections.

Tina Turner

She was in an extremely abusive marriage—for years. She attempted suicide. Yet, despite her circumstances, this powerhouse singer has managed to be considered a woman who truly knew how to reclaim her strength and independence.

shutterstock_251403214Tina Fey

This funny lady did NOT let her facial scar hold her back. In fact, it has worked in her favor, making her even more relatable.

Cindy Crawford

Her so-called flaw—her facial mole—actually played a huge role in making her one of America’s most memorable supermodels.

Demi Lovato

Lovato has been extremely transparent about her struggle with bipolar disorder (among a number of other struggles). Despite this transparency, her music continues to be respected and enjoyed by many. And as a result of her transparency, she is actually appreciated for being “real”.

Oprah Winfrey

Oprah has been public about her battle with weight for years. She has admitted that food has been her drug of choice, which she has used to ease stress and to comfort herself. Her fans are drawn to her struggle, recognizing that this powerful woman can NOT have everything she wants after all.

Kurt Cobain

The suicide of this Nirvana front man has led to speculation about whether or not he might have suffered from bipolar disorder or manic depression. While mood disorders and suicide should certainly not be glamorized, fans are intrigued by how much Cobain’s “tortured soul” contributed to the essence of the music they love.

“…people who have faults are a lot more interesting than people who are perfect.”
Again, no one is perfect. There are aspects of ourselves we must work to improve. And there are aspects of ourselves that we should embrace—even if they are considered flaws. The pieces of ourselves that are considered “good” come together with our “flaws” to create real, unique, and interesting individuals. We should surround ourselves with people who love all of us. And we should work to love all of us, while striving to grow and improve where we can.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.” -Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, Psychiatrist & Author

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Althia McLaughlin, LPC

Althia, who once set her sights on being a creative writer, worked at newspapers, book publishing companies, and for television marketing departments. She used the gift of her New York Daily News press pass for evil—to sneak into all of the hottest celebrity parties. And when she got all of that out of her system, she decided to become a therapist. Writing articles for the Shrink Tank re-opens a window to her former life. But this time she is using her psychology powers for good—not evil.

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