August 20, 2017

Plenty of Fish in “The Bachelorette” Pond

  • by Althia McLaughlin, LPC
  • May 28, 2015
  • 0

It’s that time again—the time when we can count on one lovely lady to break the heart of at least one handsome man a week, fuel full-on testosterone feuds, and be romanced beyond her imagination while in the most gorgeous of destinations. It’s “The Bachelorette time!”—“The Bachelorette” with a twist.bachelorettes

This season started with two bachelorettes, which definitely added some excitement to the premier. There were a number of uncomfortable moments in which the ladies, knowing that the men would be imgresvoting on who they wanted to keep as the bachelorette, expressed their insecurities. Britt was labeled “the pretty one” and Kaitlyn was labeled “the funny one.” During episode two, the votes were cast and “the funny one,” Kaitlyn, was chosen to stay. Britt left, devastated and shocked. She was tearful in the limo as she expressed how hard it was to be leaving—alone, especially after meeting so many handsome and available men.

Kaitlyn, on the other hand, looked like she was ready to have the time of her life. So many men… so littlekaitlyn-bristowe time. I must say that at the end of the second episode, I was definitely intrigued by the preview shown of what to expect this season. It seems that there will be a lot of drama surrounding Kaitlyn’s uninhibited indulgences with many of the bachelors. The men do not appear to be happy about sharing Kaitlyn. Does she let that stop her? It doesn’t appear so, at least not in the beginning.

So, this got me pondering over the fact that the life of the average woman in the continental United States is nothing like the life of ABC’s bachelorette. Ratio-wise, women are very infrequently in communities where they are outnumbered by men. In most U.S. states, women outnumber men. According to the CIA world fact book (2008), the ratio of men to women is .9375 to 1.00. In “The Bachelorette World” the ratio is closer to 25 to 1!

What happens when a person who lives in scarcity is thrust into an environment of plenty? People will generally act in one of three ways: 1. They will run away in fear because it is so unfamiliar that they do not know what to do; or they feel too unworthy to partake; 2. They will embrace it to the point of overindulgence; 3. They will feel tempted to either overindulge or run, but will level their emotions out with logic and pace themselves. Of course, I exaggerate when I use the term “scarcity.” However, to many women, this is what they “perceive” their situation to be in regards to the number of available men they have access to or are surrounded by.

635677310346504426-1516247688_B_I6eHHUsAAY4bRIn the case of Kaitlyn, it appears that she chooses to overindulge. Perhaps, when things begin to backfire (ie. lots of very angry men that call her out on her choices), Kaitlyn will shift to #3, pacing herself, despite her desires to take advantage of her overflow. I realize that Kaitlyn is actually Canadian. And while I have referenced the ratios in the United States rather than those in her community of origin, I can say, with much certainty, that the men do not outnumber the women 25 to 1 in Canada. So I would venture to say that my “Plethora Theory” still holds true for Kaitlyn.

As you watch The Bachelorette, I encourage you to consider the possibility of my “Plethora Theory” as being one of the major influencers of Kaitlyn’s actions. I also encourage you, as you get to know more about her personality and background, to consider what other factors may be influencing her behaviors: low self-esteem, trauma, absence of a healthy male role model growing up, attachment issues, etc. Also consider society’s current ideas about sexuality, which may have impacted the types of behaviors Kaitlyn might consider acceptable—ideas that have been firmly in place for men for years.

THE BACHELOR - "Episode 1901" - Our Bachelor, who is living right next door to the mansion this season, is filled with anticipation and excitement and ready to begin the search for his soul mate, choosing from a record 30 beautiful bachelorettes when the 19th edition of "The Bachelor" premieres MONDAY, JANUARY 5 (8:00-11:00 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/Rick Rowell) KAITLYN, CHRIS SOULES

If you are curious about the U.S. states where the men outnumber women, Alaska tops the list, according to businessinsider.com. But, before you make plans to move to the “land of plenty” to recreate scenes from “The Bachelorette,” set some solid boundaries. I urge you to pace yourself and watch more of ABC’s “The Bachelorette” to learn more about what NOT to do when and if you are confronted with a plethora of choices in men.

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Althia McLaughlin, LPC

Althia, who once set her sights on being a creative writer, worked at newspapers, book publishing companies, and for television marketing departments. She used the gift of her New York Daily News press pass for evil—to sneak into all of the hottest celebrity parties. And when she got all of that out of her system, she decided to become a therapist. Writing articles for the Shrink Tank re-opens a window to her former life. But this time she is using her psychology powers for good—not evil.

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