Why I Hate Duke: A Psychologist’s Perspective

Hate Duke

Hate is a rather strong word but when it comes to Duke, probably not strong enough. My first dog’s name was Tarheel and I graduated with three degrees from The University of North Carolina. Thus, I am not biased at all. And I think there are significant psychological reasons why most sane human beings hate Duke.

The following are my top 7 reasons why we should all hate Duke.

  1. Duke is not actually a native North Carolina school but a satellite campus of New Jersey.
  2. Duke students grew up lonely and with poor social skills. They attend Duke so they can finally make a friend, but it also explains why all Dookies are rude and lack any semblance of sophistication. So, I guess that’s not hate but pity.
  3. The basketball program stays with the same team formula. Start with a whiny, white kid, teach how to flop or trip, and if the team loses, get back surgery so the losses won’t count.
  4. Duke fans never went to Duke and are typically “bandwagon” types who are hoping for a vicarious jump in their self-esteem in the chance Duke will win a game.
  5. Duke fans are pretty dumb. Cheer sheets are spread through the student section tell them how and when to cheer because they can’t figure it out themselves.
  6. The Blue Devils are named after “les Diables Bleus” which was the name given to the French Alpine light infantry battalion in World War I. Don’t we all hate the French?
  7. Who really does like their coach? Mike looks like Satan and gave Grayson Allen the “indefinite” suspension of one game.

In summary, Duke sucks.


  1. I understand your feelings on the matter.

    I hope the fact that I strongly dislike Duke as well will make up for the fact that, because my mom is from Kansas, I grew up near Philadelphia, and my aunt works for NC State, I root for Kansas, Villanova, and NC State.

    Can we still be friends?


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